Initially, I started my coding journey with the hopes that I would eventually make a game that's lived in my head for years now. I've always had a couple games or projects that I always lost interest or passion in, whether because I wasn't able to bring the dream to life, or my own life got in the way. Of course, if I really cared I would have pushed through, right? It doesn't matter what gets in my way if I keep pushing, so why do I stop?
I always thought of it as laziness. Not a big logical leap, really. I just stop doing things when it gets difficult? Is that not textbook laziness?
To this day, I still don't understand quite why I lose interest in things I get so passionate about. That passion can't be nothing, so then what keeps happening?
Finally, to my point. Coding was something I've been really excited for all my life. I made little games on Scratch, read coding books, even learned a bit of JS on Khan Academy. As I got older, however, the passion I felt began to fade. I saw the games I played, saw the years of work that went into them, and simply gave up.
In one of my classes this year, the computer science teacher suddenly resigned. They were there for me when I struggled with JS, and without them, I felt lost. My temporarily rekindled passion for coding fizzled out yet again.
Who am I to give up on everything so quickly? I know nothing will change if I don't try no matter how hard things are, no matter how much passion I have. Nothing changes if I don't change things myself. But without that passion, without that fire, without motivation, it's so hard to keep trying.
I'm sorry if this was too rambly, but maybe, just maybe, you're lost like me. I hope this gave you some sort of catharsis, or at the very least you know you aren't alone in this. In turn, perhaps I won't feel so alone in this either.
Just maybe.